Newsletter No. 28: Sept 2004

• D.O.B: 26/6/1960
• Occupation: Left school in 1976 and started as an apprentice tool maker. Worked there for 7 years. Left Diecraft and had a 9 month holiday backpacking around the world. 1984 started with Woods Auto shops fitting sunroofs. Moved to Canberra at the end of 1988 to manage Woods car upholstery and sunroof centre. Mid 1991 started a window tint and sunroof business of my own. Late 1992 went into partnership doing sunroofs, window tinting and car upholstery. Late 1996 after a bitter partnership split started my own business again doing sunroofs and window tinting and now have 6 staff, and all the highs and lows that go with it.
• Wife: Sue, we have been married 12 years and since we've had kids she does all the paperwork associated with the business
• Hobbies: fishing, playing pool (8 ball), Golf (don't try and ring me after 11 am on Wednesdays, I'll be playing golf) and gardening.
• Interests: fishing, fishing, & fishing
• Children: Alannah (turns 7 in October) is in grade 1 at Gordon Primary School which she enjoys very much. She also does Little athletics during Summer and is a keen fisherwoman (once out fishing both parents). Ryan is 4 1/2 and is not at school just yet but will be starting little athletics for the first time this coming season.
• Favourite Entertainer: Billy Connelly
• Favourite CD: Pink Floyd - Dark side of the moon
• Favourite Movie: Shawshank Redemption
• Favourite TV show: Alias
• Favourite Holiday Destination: Wonboyan (NSW far south coast) or anywhere I can fish, preferably with no mobile phone service.
• Favourite Meal: Carpet Bag Steak
• Favourite Book: If it's not about fishing then I am not interested
• Car you drive: EL Falcon wagon
• Famous person you would like to dine with: Robin Williams
• Event you would like to do at the Olympics: Triathlon
• Favourite Footy or sports team: Carlton
• Pets: One very loopy dog called Floyd
• What talent you would like to have: Musical talent would be nice
• And anything else you would like to include: A little joke for you

THREE LITTLE PIGS

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
The waiter comes and takes their drink order

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks are bought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any desert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking, but I've just got to know" said the waiter, "Why have you only ordered water tonight?"

You're gonna hate me for this ...

Hold on to your seat ...

The third piggy says ---

"Well, SOMEBODY has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!'"

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women cannot put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you never see the headline "Psychic wins lottery?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests your money is a broker?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are stuck together?